Neil Chethik, Author, Speaker, Expert on men's lives

What 358 Diverse American Husbands Really Think
About Their Marriages
Some Stereotype-Shattering Findings
from the National Survey Behind VoiceMale

Men who say they were initially attracted to their wife by her physical attributes alone are less satisfied in their marriage than those for whom personality was key. The top two personality traits that men first found attractive in their wife are a positive outlook and self-confidence.
88 percent of the husbands reported that they felt the division of housework was fair to them, while only 67 percent said their wife would say it was fair to her.
Those couples who work out a fair division of household duties are less likely to consider getting a divorce, more likely to be sexually satisfied, and more likely to be happily married overall.
By a 3-to-1 margin, husbands said that their marriage got better rather than worse after the birth of a child.
25 percent of couples had gone to a marriage counselor during the child-rearing years. Encouragingly, more than three-quarters of the husbands said the therapy was helpful.
Only 10 percent of empty-nest husbands said they argued with their wives at least once a week, compared to 26 percent of newlyweds and 29 percent of couples in the child-raising years.
More than three-quarters of husbands married more than 35 years say they are “very happy” in their marriages. 30 percent of these couples have no sexual intercourse. Yet, 88 percent of husbands in this long-married group say they are sexually satisfied in their marriages.
58 percent of husbands said that their wives had changed them in a significant way since they married, and 93 percent of those men reported that the change had been for the better.
According to husbands, the top five areas of disagreement in marriage are, in this order: money, balancing work and family, raising children, housework and sex.
Men who had a positive relationship with their fathers in childhood are considerably more likely than others to be happily married to their wives.
93 percent of all husbands surveyed said that if given the chance, they’d marry the same woman again.

How the Research Was Done

In writing this book, Neil Chethik relied on two major pieces of research: 1) in-depth interviews, with seventy American husbands, and 2) a national, scientific survey of 288 husbands, which was carried out by the University of Kentucky Survey Research Center (UKSRC).

The in-depth personal interviews generally lasted two to three hours each. The span in age of the interviewees was 22 to 92, their length of marriage ranging from three months to 72 years. The interviewees included husbands from all regions of the country (twenty-two states), and most major ethnic groups. They had fathered anywhere from zero to eight children, and had been married between one and six times.

Men were identified through several sources: 1) religious organizations, 2) interest groups, including labor unions, ethnic-oriented associations, and professional organizations, and 3) personal contacts.

In early 2004, UKSRC overseen by Dr. Ronald E. Langley, director of UKSRC.
conducted a national, random, telephone survey of over 100 questions. The sample for this telephone survey was selected using a modified list-assisted Waksberg Random Digit Dialing method. Respondents to this telephone survey ranged in age from 19 to 90. They had been married between two months and 70 years, and had between zero and eight children. Ninety percent of the respondents were white, 5 percent African American, 4 percent Latino, and the rest Asian, Native American, or other.

Check Out More of VoiceMale
Introduction (PDF)
Table of Contents
Excerpt (PDF)
Survey
Quotes about VoiceMale
Reader's Guide
Purchase the book.

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	What 358 Diverse American Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages Some Stereotype-Shattering Findings from the National Survey Behind VoiceMale Men who say they were initially attracted to their wife by her physical attributes alone are less satisfied in their marriage than those for whom personality was key. The top two personality traits that men first found attractive in their wife are a positive outlook and self-confidence. 88 percent of the husbands reported that they felt the division of housework was fair to them, while only 67 percent said their wife would say it was fair to her. Those couples who work out a fair division of household duties are less likely to consider getting a divorce, more likely to be sexually satisfied, and more likely to be happily married overall. By a 3-to-1 margin, husbands said that their marriage got better rather than worse after the birth of a child. 25 percent of couples had gone to a marriage counselor during the child-rearing years. Encouragingly, more than three-quarters of the husbands said the therapy was helpful. Only 10 percent of empty-nest husbands said they argued with their wives at least once a week, compared to 26 percent of newlyweds and 29 percent of couples in the child-raising years. More than three-quarters of husbands married more than 35 years say they are “very happy” in their marriages. 30 percent of these couples have no sexual intercourse. Yet, 88 percent of husbands in this long-married group say they are sexually satisfied in their marriages. 58 percent of husbands said that their wives had changed them in a significant way since they married, and 93 percent of those men reported that the change had been for the better. According to husbands, the top five areas of disagreement in marriage are, in this order: money, balancing work and family, raising children, housework and sex. Men who had a positive relationship with their fathers in childhood are considerably more likely than others to be happily married to their wives. 93 percent of all husbands surveyed said that if given the chance, they’d marry the same woman again. How the Research Was Done In writing this book, Neil Chethik relied on two major pieces of research: 1) in-depth interviews, with seventy American husbands, and 2) a national, scientific survey of 288 husbands, which was carried out by the University of Kentucky Survey Research Center (UKSRC). The in-depth personal interviews generally lasted two to three hours each. The span in age of the interviewees was 22 to 92, their length of marriage ranging from three months to 72 years. The interviewees included husbands from all regions of the country (twenty-two states), and most major ethnic groups. They had fathered anywhere from zero to eight children, and had been married between one and six times. Men were identified through several sources: 1) religious organizations, 2) interest groups, including labor unions, ethnic-oriented associations, and professional organizations, and 3) personal contacts. In early 2004, UKSRC overseen by Dr. Ronald E. Langley, director of UKSRC. conducted a national, random, telephone survey of over 100 questions. The sample for this telephone survey was selected using a modified list-assisted Waksberg Random Digit Dialing method. Respondents to this telephone survey ranged in age from 19 to 90. They had been married between two months and 70 years, and had between zero and eight children. Ninety percent of the respondents were white, 5 percent African American, 4 percent Latino, and the rest Asian, Native American, or other. Check Out More of VoiceMale Introduction (PDF) Table of Contents Excerpt (PDF) Survey Quotes about VoiceMale Reader's Guide Purchase the book. HOME